Fizzy Air? Never A Good Thing
by Glitter's Infatuation
Summary: The air around them fizzed slightly....Complete! Please R&R ;)
1. Hiccups Disaster

Untitled

Chapter One – Hiccups = Disaster

By Glitter's Infatuation

*I've just written this and I've realised that it's similar to the Rougette's fic! *Eek* I was brushing my teeth and this idea came into my head, I hope you don't mind! *Goes to kiss the feet of the 3 Rougettes Karita, Hannah and Madi* Erm, maybe not, but sorreee!* 

Everything was normal in Paris 1899 and London 2002. Satine was busily smooching with Christian while Nicole Kidman was giggling happily with a slightly drunken Ewan McGregor. Until, at the very same moment, both females hiccuped Satine from lack of oxygen and Nicole from the champagne. The air around them fizzed slightly, and both film star and courtesan fell to the floor in a dead faint.

~~ Nicole ~~

'Oh my god, did someone spike my drink?' Nicole groggily raised a hand and held it against her pounding forehead, 'Ewan, I think I'm gonna have to go home, could you call a taxi please?' Nicole's eyes opened blearily and expected to see a buzz-cut pissed Ewan McGregor laughing his arse off, but instead her eyes saw Ewan in his full Moulin Rouge garb, complete with puppy-eye expression and floppy hair. This wasn't right.

'Oh bejesus, was it Absinthe? Ewan you git did you put Absinthe in my drink? I swear to god…' she closed her eyes in frustration and waited for the hallucination to end.

'Satine? Satine, darling, are you all right?' Christian was terrified. Satine's eyes had just slipped out of focus and when she came around, she was talking oddly. Plus, who was Ewan?

Nicole was in no mood for games. 'Ewan, get me up and help me get to a taxi!' Cracking open one eye, Nicole realised that her surroundings were also different. Earlier she had been relaxing in Ewan's house, which certainly did _not _have windmill wallpaper. Now, she was getting scared. Fast.

'Satine? Are you aright? Say something, please.' Christian tried again, worried sick by the sight of Satine mumbling about someone called Ewan and something called a 'taxi'.

Nicole tried a different tactic.

'What date is it? Silly me, I can't remember…'

'July 23rd 1899, one week before the show.' Christian announced proudly. Nicole blanched.

'Oh god.'

~~ Satine ~~

Satine felt like her insides were being pulled out via her throat. She coughed violently and shrieked as droplets of blood hit the floor. Looking up, she saw Christian looking horrified. But, how was it her Christian? He certainly didn't have hair that length, or that colour! She gazed doggedly and saw his beautiful blue-green-grey eyes, and knew that it was he. As Satine tried to remember if she'd had any Absinthe recently, Ewan's eyes widened and he sobered up immediately.

'Christ Nic, what's wrong with you?'

Satine stared. Christian's voice was older, maturer, and it had a tint of something Satine had never even heard of. Before she had time to ask any of the questions buzzing around her brain, she felt herself being lifted onto something that looked like a chaise lounge, but felt softer. Satine moaned softly, she felt terrible and she didn't recognise anything.

'I'm Sa-'

'You're sick, me old skanky pants,' Ewan held his hand on Satine's forehead, which was icy cold. He was worried about Nicole, one minute she was fine, and the next looking deathly white. He snapped back to attention when he heard Nicole speak softly, barely audible.

'Christian, where are you?'

Now Ewan was _very _worried. He quickly scribbled a note to Eve and slowly led Nicole to the car, which continued to talk about her Moulin Rouge characters as if they were real. Ewan revved up the car and prayed that fans wouldn't stop him, they'd have a field day with this story.

Satine was terrified, as Christian eased her into a large metal can. She kept her eyes on her beloved as he sat beside her and brought the can to life with a huge banging noise. She squeaked and clamped her eyes shut and wished for her nightmare to end.


	2. Can Things Get Worse? Um, Yes

Chapter Two – Can things go worse? Um, yes.

~~ Nicole ~~

As Christian slowly led Satine back to her dressing room, Nicole gazed in amazement at her surroundings. They were exactly like they had been in the film, all the way down to the dent in one of the posts from when she and Ewan had tripped over each other and had gone flying into it. People were milling about; Nicole realised that they were probably still rehearsing. She noticed that Christian was leading her away from the stage door, and around the back way, and Nicole supposed that was what Satine had Christian had been doing for the past god-knows-how-long.

'Um, Ewan?' Nicole tried to keep ver voice level, but she could hear a slight ring of hysteria in it, 'are you sure this isn't the year 2002? Y'know, maybe I'm just going crazy and all that, right?'

Christian looked at Satine as if she was from another planet or maybe another decade [like 2002, for instance]. 'Satine, are you sure you didn't bump your head? We could go to Marie if you want, but I'm sure that this is the year 1899. 2002 is such a long way away!' Christian grinned wickedly, 'we won't be around, but maybe our grandchildren will be.' 

Nicole felt the floor slide from under her. **_KIDS?!_** She was a film actress, not an 19th century courtesan! She saw Christian's look on his face, and fell head over heels for him. 

__

Best keep him happy until I go back, Satine won't be pleased otherwise, she thought, as she slowly closed her eyes and kissed him softly. Sparks erupted in her eyes, and Nicole had to take several deep breaths once it had finished.

__

And people said that Ewan and I had chemistry on set.

~~ Satine ~~

When the tin can finally stopped, Christian jumped out of the car and heroically carried Satine to the front of a big white building. Satine felt her blood run cold as she saw that it was a hospital. She squirmed in Christian's firm grip, until he put her down and she ran out of the door and stopped dead.

'Where's everything gone?'

Satine recognised only the pavements and buildings and street lamps. There were hundreds, thousands of roaring tin cans rushing in lines along the road, people bustling about wearing the most hideous outfits, and there were even girls wearing men's trousers! Strange noises were everywhere, clogging up Satine's head and she felt like a little girl lost at the fair again.

Ewan rushed after her and watched her sway delicately from side to side. She looked terrified, yet mesmerised by the cars and even by the clothes that people were wearing! He took a step closer, and Satine whirled around, hugging him tightly.

'Christian I'm so scared, where am I?'

Ewan slowly eased her arms from around his neck, lack of oxygen was becoming an issue, and he looked into Nicole's eyes. 'Nic what the hells wrong with you?' he exclaimed softly, and he smoothly took her aside behind some trees to avoid the odd stares from passers-by.

'What's wrong Nic? Tell me, what happened to you?'

Satine whimpered softly 'Everything is strange, I don't know anything Christian. I'm scared of the hospital, I don't recognise anything, I only know you.'

Ewan raised an eyebrow. 'This may sound strange as hell, but what date is it?'

Satine scrunched up her face and tried to remember. 'Um, it's July 23rd 1899, maybe the 24th, but I know that the show is next week.' Her face darkened, 'Christian! We have to get back, the show can't go on without us, I'm the star and you're the writer, we have to get back!'

Ewan bit his lip. Not only was it February 24th 2002, Nicole seemed to think it was 1899, the year of Satine and Christian in Moulin Rouge…a spark of an idea lit in Ewan's head, and he thought it was absurd enough to be true.

'Satine? What were we doing before you fainted?'

'We were, you know, kissing, and then I hiccuped and fainted and now I'm here.' Satine smiled shyly, 'I think I've had some Absinthe that I don't know about.'

Ewan stared. _Nicole_ had hiccuped from the champagne and then fainted. It was an idiotic connection, but after being in two _Star Wars_ films, he believed it could be true. So, he was stuck with a 19th century courtesan who only knew him as her lover, Eve would have a fit and the papers…it wasn't worth thinking about. But the big question was where was Nicole?

~~##~~##~~##~~##~~##~~##~~

What do you think? :) Please review! I own nothing *sigh*


	3. Where Are Those Lyrics From?

Chapter 3 –Where are those lyrics from? 

~~ Nicole ~~

Lounging around was not that fun if it was all you had to do all day. Christian had brought Nicole in after some more to-die-for smooching, and he'd then run off, not wanting the Duke to arrive. Nicole did not want to meet the Duke. Yes, Richard Roxburgh was a darling outside of "being" the Duke, so what would the real one be like 24/7?

"Why me?" Nicole moaned. When Christian had left, she had noticed that she was now wearing one of Satine's dresses, complete with rib-crunching corset. Unfortunately, Nicole hadn't worn one for a year, so she was struggling to breathe, which didn't leave a good impression. Acting like a courtesan was one thing, and acting like a courtesan who could actually breathe through the damned corset was another.

Lying on the bed, Nicole wriggled around until her head was hanging off the end. She hoped that with the blood rushing to her brain, she'd faint and end back up at Ewan's house. No such luck. So, she decided to investigate.

Firstly, the cupboard opened, and Nicole was dismayed to see a neat line of corsets and dresses, exactly like the ones that were made for her. Nothing was different, even down to the hairbrush with two teeth missing, due to Ewan sitting on it during one of the lunch breaks.

When Christian stuck his head though the door, Nicole was so happy she could have kissed him. So, she did. She'd never been so bored in her entire life. She tilted her head back and sang her voice slightly rusty after her long pledge of silence with Ewan. 

__

"Eyes   
Like a sunrise   
Like a rainfall   
Down my soul   
And I wonder   
I wonder why you look at me like that   
What you're thinking   
What's behind   
Don't tell me   
But it feels like love"

Christian stood with his mouth open in shock. Nicole blushed. _Sorry Westlife_ she thought, as she got ready to sing the next verse._  
_  
_"I'm gonna take this moment   
And make it last forever,   
I'm gonna give my heart away   
And pray we'll stay together.   
Cause you're the one good reason,   
You're the only one that I need   
Cause you're more beautiful than I have ever seen   
I'm gonna take this night   
And make it Evergreen."_

Nicole danced around the crowded dressing room, trying to ignore the painful pinches of the corset. This was more like her idea of fun! She'd heard the song on the radio in the taxi on the way to Ewan's house, and it just seemed like a perfect Moulin Rouge song. Nicole wondered why it hadn't been included in the film.  
_  
"Touch   
Like a angel   
Like velvet to my skin   
And I wonder   
Wonder why you wanna stay the night   
What you're dreaming   
What's behind   
Don't tell me   
But it feels like love. _  
_I'm gonna take this moment   
And make it last forever   
I'm gonna give my heart away   
And pray we'll stay together.   
Cause you're the one good reason   
You're the only one that I need,   
Cause you're more beautiful than I have ever seen   
I'm gonna take this night   
And make it Evergreen."_

When she finally finished, Christian's eyes lit up. 

"Satine, that was, that was beautiful! How did you think of it?"

Nicole blushed, "Um, it sort of just came out, like I knew it already."

"You're a natural, darling. Can you remember the words? Maybe we could fit it into the show…" and he was off, busy in his little word of Spectacular Spectacular. Nicole grinned and followed Christian; mentally apologising to whoever wrote the song originally. Well, now it would be a Christian James original. 

~~ Satine ~~

"Christian I feel sick." 

"Don't call me Christian, call me Ewan, okay sweetie? And I call you…" Ewan waited patiently for an answer.

"Nicole. Nicole Mary Kidman, actress, previously married to Tom Cruise. I am 34 and very famous, but very ill at this moment in time."

"Good girl." Ewan grinned. Satine had a hell of a good memory. Better than Nicole anyway, they'd spend a day rehearsing and Nicole could forget half of it after two minutes. He slowly helped her past the 'Welcome' sign and was pleased that they'd got further than they had from the previous 4 attempts. People were looking at them, wondering if this was a new film they were making. Setting Satine down on a seat, Ewan had a quick chat with the receptionist and managed to get taken straight through. 

Satine's eyes grew as big as saucers as they zoomed her through the hospital. It was so different from the one back home. Home…it seemed like such a long time ago already. Ewan had told Satine what he thought had happened, and all she was interested in was the other person who was identical to her and she really wanted to see the film. 

Craning her neck, Satine saw Ewan talking to a man who was pointing a box at him and making it blink. Satine grimaced when she saw that she was wearing a plain shirt and a long black skirt, and – no, please no – 

No corset. 

Satine felt like a beached whale, even though she was decidedly smaller than everyone else was to begin with. As she wheeled along, she faintly heard two women wearing white dresses and hats whispered about 'film stars like stick insects' and 'no shame about putting normal sized women down'. Satine hadn't the faintest idea what they were on about, so she smiled, which caused mutterings of 'show off'. Giving up completely, Satine allowed herself to be wheeled into a big white room, which had lots of very shiny silver pointy things on a table. Satine hoped they weren't for her.

~~##~~##~~##~~##~~##~~##~~

"Evergreen" by Westlife [I changed the word 'girl' to 'one' to make the song fit!]


	4. Injections and Unbridled Lust

Chapter 4 – Injections and Unbridled Lust 

~~ Nicole ~~ 

Back at Christian's garret, Nicole was patiently telling the over-excited poet the lyrics to her new 'masterpiece'. She smiled at his eagerness, and was about to give him the kiss of his life ['cause she felt like doing it], when there was a sharp rap at the door, and the Duke strode in. 

"Here you are, my dearest, I was worried where you'd got to" as he leaned over to kiss her hand, Nicole shuddered. Yuck! The Duke pulled away and looked around the untidy room with a look of utter disdain. Nicole suddenly felt very protective, and she smiled her 'Diamond' smile that those six months of rehearsals had gone towards making. The Duke practically glowered, and as he turned to look out of the window, Nicole caught Christian's attention and mimed putting her finger down her throat and gagging. Christian watched wide-eyed and Nicole blew him a kiss before tackling the Duke. 

"My dear Duke, have you spoken to Harold yet?" Nicole prayed for a 'no'. 

"Not yet, my diamond." 

Bingo! "It's just that he wants to see you," Nicole crossed her fingers behind her back and eased the Duke out of the door, "I heard that is was very important, urgent news." 

"Oh" the Duke was obviously put out, "I shall see you later, my dear?" 

"Err" _Not if I can help it!_ Screamed her brain, "Maybe, my dearest Duke." Swiftly pushing the door shut, Satine collapsed in a fit of giggles as she watched Christian's bemused expression. 

This was turning out to be a lot like filming, except it was all day, every day, with no breaks. A sudden thought hit Nicole like a ton of bricks. 

__

Performing. I have to perform in front of god-knows-how-many lurid men, with no director in the background shouting 'Unbridled lust!' 

Suddenly, everything looked scarier. 

~~ Satine ~~ 

Her shrieks could be heard down the corridors. Patients peered out from their wards, while Ewan McGregor looked like he wanted the floor to swallow him up. He could hear movement from behind the door he was leaning on, and he was met with a very indignant and flushed Satine, followed by a harried looking doctor who muttered about 'over-reactive film stars'. Smiling crookedly, Ewan quickly yanked Satine back out of the hospital and into the car, where he tried to assess the situation he had been thrown into.

Satine sulked, holding her arm and inspecting the big pinkish patch the doctor had put on her arm, after stabbing it with a thin pointy thing that had made her screech. The doctor said that she had consumption, and that had terrified her. She knew all about it, it caused the death of her mother and many of her friends. She shivered; if she hadn't been pulled from 1899, she probably would have died soon, the doctor said it would have been merely a week or two.

"How are you doing?" Ewan tried to strike up a conversation.

"You let him poke me." Satine answered irritably. Ewan sighed and rolled his eyes.

"He also said you would have died, if I hadn't taken you to the hospital."

"I want to see the film."

"No chance, Satine"

"I want to see the film! It's _my_ film, let me see it!"

"No, you annoying whiny courtesan!"

That hit a nerve. Satine shifted in her seat and stared out of the window, leaving Ewan with an irritated courtesan from 1899. Nice.

He tried to think of where to take Satine. Home was be an option, except that Eve would never believe him, ever. A hotel was even worse; the journalists would be all over them. Grimacing, Ewan drove around London for a few times, until he heard Satine snore softly from the passenger seat. He figured that she hadn't had a night off since she started as the Sparkling Diamond, which, by Baz's estimates was a good few years. A sudden thought struck him – if Satine was _here_, sleeping on her night off, did that mean _Nicole_ had to do the routine?

Ewan grinned. "Lucky Nic"

~~ Nicole ~~

"OW! Jeeze, do I really have to wear this thing this tight? Couldn't I just, not, wear it so rib crunching?"

Nicole stood leaned over her dressing table, while Marie struggled with the corset strings. Nicole wore her infamous black Basque outfit, complete with sparkly top hat and several layers of makeup. She'd spent the rest of the afternoon hiding at Christian's, trying to avoid the Duke and his slimy features.

"Chickpea! How are you today? The Duke was looking for you!" Harold bounded in, and Nicole felt a surge of Satine-love emanate to the slightly fat red bearded ringleader.

"I'm fine, Harold, perfectly fine." Nicole figured that Satine hadn't been told about her consumption. "I was just helping Christian write a new song for the show. Speaking of tonight's performance, how about changing things a little bit? You know, being just before the show, how about we show the gentlemen a new bit of sparkle?"

Nicole could practically see the cogs whirring in Harold's brain, clocking up expenses and crowd prices. "I have a few new songs in mind, it wouldn't cost a penny."

"Splendid! Oh my little cherry, you are such the businesswoman! A real star you'll be someday." Then he was off, rushing to find the bandleader to tell him about his newest idea, leaving Nicole shrieking about the tightness of her outfit, while Marie huffed and puffed behind her.

"So, here she is! Your very own Sparkling Diamond, giving you, just you, a very special performance of a lifetime!"

Nicole took several deep breaths, before stepping out from behind the heavy red drapery. The spotlight blinded her, and she almost fell off the steps with the waves of cheering from the men in front of her. She smiled, waved a little and shook her hips, while the men went wild, throwing money and very expensive jewellery at her feet. Nicole walked to the centre of the stage and threw out her arms, asking for silence. With a shake of her head to the band and a sexy wink, the song had begun.

__

The minute you walked in the joint   
I could see you were a man of distinction, a real big spender   
Good looking, so refined   
Say, wouldn't you like to know what's going on in my mind?   
So let me get right to the point   
I don't pop my cork for every man I see   
Hey big spender!   
Spend a little time with me 

Nicole sauntered over to a young boy who looked no older that 20, and when she winked suggestively, he almost passed out in his hurry to give her a diamond choker and a red rose. Nicole licked her lips and arched an eyebrow at another gentleman, receiving a slap on the bum and a wallet bursting with money in return. Laughing, Nicole wiggled back onto the stage and started dancing with a chair. The men went wild. 

__

Wouldn't you like to have fun, fun, fun?   
How's about a few laughs, laughs?   
I could show you a good time   
Let me show you a good time!  
The minute you walked in the joint   
I could see you were a man of distinction, a real big spender   
Good looking, so refined   
Say, wouldn't you like to know what's going on in my mind?   
So let me get right to the point   
I don't pop my cork for every man I see   
Hey big spender!   
Hey big spender!   
Hey big spender!   
Spend a little time with me   
Yes!

After her final words were uttered, the ferocious roar of approval from the crowd drowned the music out. Laughing, Nicole did a few more rounds of the pit, collecting diamonds, jewellery, money, roses and even bottles of perfume. Her arms sagging with the weight, Nicole walked back to the curtain and slowly slithered behind it, leaving the men whinging for her return. 

"And Baz shouted 'unbridled lust!'" 

~~ Satine ~~

The hotel room was so big, to Satine it seemed like a mansion. She had hidden in the car while Ewan had rented the room, and she had then been rushed upstairs to the place that Satine was going to sleep in.

The sleek walls were painted cream, with a tasteful gold border, and gold-painted flowers adorned all the walls. The living room had an enormous couch, along with a black box with glass in it. Creeping closer, Satine inspected the box, and almost jumped out of her skin when she saw it crackle and come to life, with little people inside. She whirled and saw Ewan lying on the sofa, laughing hysterically. 

"Never seen a TV before, I take it?"

"A TV? Is this a TV? What does it do? Why are those people so small?"

Ewan cracked up again, but shut up quickly when he saw Satine's haughty look coming. "You can watch shows on it. Its kinda confusing, but put it this way. If you want to watch something, instead of going there, you can watch it on this. You get it? You can see all sorts, sport, films, comedy"

"Films?"

Dammit

"Can I see my film? Can the TV show me?"

Ewan sighed. He knew that by whenever Satine was due to leave, she would have seen the film. Problem was; he was actually nervous about showing Satine. She was the real star, it was her film, her life, and he was just acting it out. He'd love making the film, the awards people loved it too, but this was Satine. The real deal.

"Fine! Jeez, you're just as stubborn as Nicole is! Don't yell if its not on TV yet, I can probably rustle up a copy somewhere." Ewan prayed for an absolution and clicked on the films channel.

__

"Today, the musical Moulin Rouge in all its wide screen glory! Showing in 5 minutes."

Satine giggled and clapped her hands while Ewan leaned his head back and groaned. 

~~##~~##~~##~~##~~##~~##~~

'Big Spender' by Shirley Bassey

I know that the Rougette's fic had Satine and Christian watching MR and I completely forgot until I finished this chapter! *hangs head in shame* I am sooo sorry :( If you want me to get rid of it, just say!


	5. Arguments Galore and the Red Room

Chapter 5 – Arguments Galore and the Red Room

~~ Nicole ~~

Nicole lounged across her bed, feeling the post-show excitement tingle all over her body. She'd been a success! Well, Satine had anyway. This was what it was like at award shows, accepting the gratitude for being someone else, someone different. Nicole stared at the ceiling above her, following the intricate patterns while lost in a daydream. She couldn't stop thinking about Christian, and she knew that was a bad, bad thing. When she got back to 2002 [* if* she got back], Christian would be Ewan, and Ewan McGregor was happily married!

'Why is it always me?' she huffed, while rolling onto her stomach, 'First Tom gets off with that Penelope bitch, and now I'm falling in love with Ewan McGregor's character!'

'You're in love with who?' a quiet voice came from the doorway, and Nicole shrieked and whirled around, coming face to face with a hurt-looking Ewan. Dammit! Christian, Christian **_Christian!_**

'I love you sweetie!' Nicole squeezed in an extra few kisses before dancing around in her Basque, while the young poet looked on bemusedly. 'So, what are we doing tonight then?' Nicole winked suggestively, but Christian's smile faded.

'You-you're supposed to be meeting the Duke in the Gothic Tower, remember darling? If you don't go, the, the show's off. For good.' Christian looked away and Nicole could see the tears glittering in his eyes. Throwing herself at him, she smothered his face in yet more kisses.

'I love you, Christian James, no matter what anyone says or tries to do. I won't let that evil Duke lay a finger on me, and whatever happens, don't go into the Dance Hall tonight, promise?'

Christian still kept his head down low, and Nicole felt desperately sorry for him. What could she do to make him believe that Satine loved only him? There was something, but Nicole blushed crimson when she thought of it. She couldn't! It would be like sleeping with Ewan McGregor! Not that she minded that thought **– NO NO NO!** – Couldn't go thinking like that at _all_. But Christian looked so helpless…

Leaning over slightly, Nicole coughed silently and whispered huskily into Christian's ear,

'Meet me in the Red Room close the door and dim the lights….'

Christian's eyes lit up and he kissed Nicole passionately. One word swam around Nicole's kiss-fogged brain.

__

Wow

~~ Satine ~~

The credits rolled and Ewan braced himself, waiting for some sort of shriek or a whack across the head with something. He closed his eyes and waited, but heard nothing. Then, something. A sniff.

Satine was crying.

'That was how I was going to die? How awful, poor Christian, poor me.'

'Poor you?' Ewan giggled.

'Of course poor me! If this, this _switch_ hadn't happened, that probably would have been real!' Satine shuddered, 'now we'll be happy forever, but you'll have to change the end.'

'S'tine, I haven't got a few million quid to change the ending of the film! You'll just have to keep it as it is, alright?' Ewan looked puzzled as Satine glared at him.

'What did you call me?'

'Er...S'tine.'

'S'tine? What kind of name is that?' Satine pouted and Ewan felt his temper snap.

'It was my nickname for Nicole when we were in character! What would you like me to call you? Miss? Your Royal Bloody Highness? Miss Head-Up-Her-Own-Arse? Jeez! I didn't ask for you to be sent to me!' Pushing himself off the comfortable seat, Ewan stalked off to the master bedroom, leaving Satine alone with her soggy tissues and enormous pout on her face.

Ewan threw himself face-first onto the giant double bed and sighed deeply. This was a complete and utter nightmare. Raising his head slightly, Ewan's eyes doubled their size as he realised what was happening the next day.

__

The KMCCH Awards 2002

Only the most prestigious awards ceremony after the Oscars, that's what! KMCCH was set up to honour films that broke the boundaries of cinema every year, and Moulin Rouge was the film of the evening! Ewan and Nicole were giving interviews about the film and accepting awards all night! 

A few minutes later, the giant cream door open silently and Satine poked her head through, her makeup smudged across her face and her eyes still a puffy red.

'Ewan, I-I'm sorry. Are you alright?'

'Satine, I think I'm gonna cry.'

~~ Nicole ~~

Christian left the Red Room first, a small smile on his face and his cheeks slightly red. Nicole sat on the edge of the bed, her eyes gazing into the distance.

'Oh my god.' Was all she was able to mutter. She'd practically slept with Ewan McGregor! Now Nicole felt an overwhelming desire for Christian now, and it wasn't just Satine-love. 

This was real.

'Tom eat your heart out, I'm in love.'

She shook her head sharply until she felt sick. She couldn't do this! She couldn't do this, it would hurt everyone, the kids, Eve, Ewan's kids…but there was no denying it.

'There you are! C'mon, the Duke's waiting for you, and you aren't even changed!'

Marie bustling about, rummaging around in the bag she had brought that contained her dress for the evening snapped Nicole out of her thoughts. When it was pulled out, Nicole gasped. It was stunning.

It was a proper evening gown, midnight blue velvet with a tight fitting corset. The dress was shoulder less, but Nicole could see a pair of fantastically long silk gloves and a diamond choker attached. The shoes looked dangerously high, and Nicole has a strong sense of foreboding. Her knee still ached after her last trip down the Gothic Tower stairs, and she was still wary of heels. That's what 10 years of feeling small did to you.

'Satine, snap out of it girl! Get ready!' Marie looked sharply at Nicole.

'Um, yes, alright, I will now.' Fumbling with the tight outfit she already wore, Nicole felt scared. Marie watched intently, before reaching over and helping Nicole. Marie sighed softly, Satine was such a child, a siren to look at but underneath, merely a child.

~~ Satine ~~

'The what awards?'

'The KMCCH awards, it's a big thing S'tine! Really big, it's live on television too, if you make any mistakes, that's it and we'll both be carted off to the mental hospital. I'm gonna have to phone your stylist and people, but before then we'll have to work out what you're going to be saying. Oh god oh god.' Ewan stalked nervously around, up and down the plush carpet until Satine thought there'd be track marks left behind.

'Ewan, calm down. I have a good memory, we'll do this.' She held his arm with her small hand and smiled bravely, 'Like my darling Zidler always says, the show must go on, right?'

Ewan stared for a few minutes, before grinning back. He boldly picked up Satine and whirled her around in circles until the courtesan shrieked in delight. The pair collapsed onto the bed in fits of giggles. Picking up a pillow, Satine lost all control and whacked Ewan across the head, letting rip a huge laugh and a mountain of feathers. Ewan shook his head and grabbed the remaining pillow and soon the room was full of feathers, fluff and giggles galore.

Next door, a couple looked at each other, expressions of disbelief etched on their faces. They'd seen Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman enter the room hours before, and now…they didn't know _what_ to think.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
'Meet me in the Red Room' – Amiel  
Dedicated to my Red Room Diamonds! Can anyone think up a good title please?!


	6. Sour Supper and Getting Ready

Chapter 6 – Sour Supper and Getting Ready 

~~ Nicole ~~

Nicole breathed in deeply four times before sliding behind the velvet curtain that separated the stairway from the Gothic Tower. The Duke turned, illuminated by the moonlight behind him. Nicole fought back the urge to either punch him or throw up over him, but instead whispered huskily,

'My dear Duke, I hope I did not keep you waiting.'

The Duke watched, transfixed, as Nicole glided over to the fireplace before sexily pulling off her gloves, revealing flawless pale white skin. She tried not to shiver; the lusty look from the Duke combined with the freezing cold Tower made Nicole want to pull her gloves back on, along with snuggling into the giant stuffed rug she was currently standing next to.

"Satine, I would wait forever for you. Now, I have a few worries about the writer, he seems to be getting slightly…attached…to you." His oily hair lay limp on his head, and Nicole watched the waiters intently, feeling disgust and hatred boil. How dare he call Christian attached! Foul stupid greasy needs-a-bath man.

"Dear Duke, we need the writer. I, I just indulge his fantasies because he's talented. We need him." Nicole dropped her voice an octave and raised her eyebrows suggestively, "But only until tomorrow night."

The Duke beamed and Nicole flinched. He looked like a shark.

~~ Satine ~~

"S'tine? Are we gonna pass tonight?"

"Sure Ewan! Just leave it all to me. Hey! Watch where you stick that thing."

Satine struggled to keep still as various artists painted her face and played with her hair. Ewan said that she was supposed to keep still, but she was being pulled in all directions and it hurt like hell. The bloated whale feeling was still there, much to Satine's humiliation she wasn't allowed to wear a corset, due to being told that her twice-broken rib was still niggly. All the while, Ewan shouted out helpful bits of information, such as how to talk to the camera, and what things to say without blowing the whole thing. Plus, Ewan had stressed that someone called Tom Cruise [*hiss* *spit*] was going to be there with his girlfriend, and as soon as Penélope's name was mentioned, a surge of Nicole-hate frothed violently. Settling back into her chair, Satine sighed, which caused her makeup to go wonky. Dammit.

Ewan, on the other hand, was a complete and utter nervous wreck. This was an incredibly important night for him, and Nicole, and if it all went wrong, he'd have to spend the rest of his life in hiding. He sat down, his tuxedo feeling unusual and uncomfortable, wringing his hands in despair. He was thinking of ideal places to hide, Jamaica sounded nice, when Satine entered with a flourish, and Ewan felt his jaw drop.

Meow.

Satine grinned, and did a small curtsey and wave, before spinning around to show off her dress completely. It was nothing like she'd worn before, a halter neck dress with tropical colours- a mix of reds, oranges, greens, yellows, blues and purples. It ended just above her knees, and then went out into a 'V' shape of frills along the bottom. Her hair was fluffed out in a strawberry blonde halo around her head, a colour she'd never seen herself wearing before. She wore a light smudge of emerald green eye shadow, which made her eyes almost glow in the light, and with a lick of clear lip-gloss, she was ready and raring to go.

"Earth to Ewan! Hello, Ewan? You with me here? We've gotta go!"

Shaking his arm, Satine practically dragged the hypnotised Ewan to the door. Stopping, Satine watched as Ewan walked straight into the heavy door, snapping him out of his stupor.

"Hey, hey watch the valuables there! God my head…S'tine!"

"What?"

"You look fantastic. You'll pull this off easily."

"You don't look too bad yourself."

With her heels on, Satine was half an inch taller than Ewan, so she lowered her head and kissed him daintily on the nose, before dashing out to the car. Ewan followed his cheeks rosy red, and the neighbours watch with interest.

~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~

This was only a short chapter, but the next ones will be dedicated entirely to either Satine or Nicole! Please remember, I own nothing *sigh* and I hope the next few chapters will have you laughing!


	7. The KMCCH Awards 2002

Chapter 7 – The KMCCH Awards 2002 

~~ Satine ~~

Flashbulbs popped, fans screamed, begging for autographs and Nicole Kidman was in her element. She ran around like a child in a sweet store, posing for pictures, signing autographs and making a big fuss and dance over the whole event. Her date for the night, Ewan McGregor, watched with amused interest at his beautiful Australian co-star, whispering into her ear and laughing at her antics. After an hour of mad publicity, the pair was escorted inside, followed by a barrage of guards.

"I don't think I've ever had so much fun in my life!" Satine beamed at everyone she saw, giving little waves and laughing all the while. "This is so neat! Can we do it again?"

Ewan grinned and hooked his arm around Satine's. "S'tine, sweet, you were brill. They loved you! If you just keep it up for the next few hours, we'll be fine. Remember, keep the accent going!"

"Sure, Ew!" Satine slipped easily into her Australian accent, it was almost as if she knew how to pronounce every single word. Ewan gripped her arm tightly, and with a final gasp of good luck, the pair burst through the doors to the stage.

"You're hosts for the KMCCH Awards tonight! Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman, stars of tonight's feature show, Moulin Rouge!" the announcement boomed overhead and the crowd exploded into cheers. Satine felt the air from the cheering below blow her slightly back, and she grabbed Ewan's hand and held on tightly. 

"Welcome everyone! Tonight we honour Moulin Rouge, the musical with the beliefs on Beauty, Freedom, Truth and Love! We hope to share our experience with you all."

"We hope that you have a great time too!" Satine's voice was slightly croaky, but the crowd cheered her on, boosting her confidence. "So, sit back, relax and enjoy the film!"

A giant screen above their heads lowered, and the noise reached fever pitch as the opening 'Red Curtain' credits rolled. Satine stood and watched, but was only forced away by Ewan picking her up and carrying her off, receiving wolf-whistles and jeers from the crowd.

"Ewan McGregor! Get off me!" Satine was hysterical laughing and slumped to the floor as soon as Ewan let go of her. So, he picked her back up and wouldn't let her go until they reached the film star's guestroom, where they could wait until the film had finished.

It was like a giant diamond mine. Jewellery glittered and sparkled, while the air of higher society wafted around the whole room. The whole place was packed, major movie stars chatting amicably with anyone and everyone. When the hosts entered, the entire room turned around and applauded, causing Satine to turn bright pink. After a few minutes of speeches and laughs, Satine decided to drag Ewan around, so she could get to know some of these people. Kylie Minogue stood to one side, sipping daintily on a glass of 'Moulin Rouge', which was three parts water to just one part Absinthe. Jim Broadbent sat talking to his co-stars from his latest film Iris, Kate Winslet and Dame Judi Dench, while Richard Roxburgh was jiving with John Leguiziamo on the dance floor. Satine grinned and was about to make a comment about the real Duke jiving, when a small man with dark brown hair came up to Satine.

"Hey, Nicole, how are you?"

"I'm fine." Satine turned to Ewan, "Who the hell is that?"

Ewan coughed. "That's your ex, Nic, Tom Cruise, remember?" Ewan shot Tom a pitying look; "She's been unwell for the past few days, screwed with her mind."

My God, how pitiful was that?

Suddenly, Tom looked worried as a loud choking/snorting look came from Nicole's direction. Both Ewan and Tom stared as Satine almost choked to death laughing, hugging her sides so she wouldn't fall over again.

"I married *him*?! Was I on Absinthe or something? He's tiny! Plus, he's got something metal in his mouth."

Tom looked away, horrified, and quickly placed his hand over his shiny new braces, while Ewan looked like he was going to faint. Or laugh hysterically.

"NICOLE!"

"What?" Satine looked mystified.

"The papers will have a field day now!"

"Oops"

"Bitch!"

Satine whirled her head around to where the new voice came from. Her eyes flashed red when she saw Penèlope Cruz storm up, a glass of champagne in her hand.

"How DARE you say that to Tom, after everything!"

Satine gave her best "bitch" look back. "Excuse me, did I ask for you to wreck my marriage?"

The entire room was silent, expectant, waiting.

"Tom CAME to me after YOU were such a BITCH to him!" Penélope screeched, flinging her glass away and hitting someone on the head.

"Did I ask you to come swanning into my life, take MY children and MY husband away from me?" Satine walked straight up to Penélope and swung her fist at her.

"GET OFF ME EWAN!" Satine was mortified as Ewan held an iron grip onto her fist, stopping her from throwing the best punch an actress had ever thrown.

"Get. Out. Leave. Us. Alone. Get it?" Ewan's voice was menacingly low, and Penélope stalked off, dragging a red-faced Tom after her.

"Stay away, bitch!" Satine giggled and poked out her tongue, before turning around and hugging Ewan.

"Thanks, sweetie."

"Anytime."

Breaking apart, Satine looked inquiringly at the entire audience of actors gazing with their mouths open in shock.

"What?"


	8. I Think You Need To Sit Down

Chapter 8 – "I think you might want to sit down" 

~~ Nicole ~~

Nicole stood in front of her wardrobe, trying to decide which dress wouldn't kill her most. It was a tough choice, each dress looked as gorgeous yet excruciatingly painful as the next. Sighing, Nicole closed her eyes and pointed her index finger up and down the wardrobe, zooming left to right. Stopping sharply, Nicole peeked her eyes open and saw the dress she was to be wearing today. It had been a good finger pick; she had chosen a scarlet red dress with a black shawl beaded with red ribbons and beads and black edging which tickled her shoulders. She dimly remembered that it had been called her 'Spanish' dress, and she smiled fondly as her fingers grazed the soft fabric.

"How was yesterday?" A soft mellow accent snapped Nicole out of her reverie. Turning, she spotted Tarot gazing from the doorway, hair in tight rollers and day dress not yet on. "I heard you had to sleep with that ratty Duke."

"Nope, I just gave the cutesy-smouldering eyes and he was all over me like a bad rash." Nicole grimaced at the memory and picked off a piece of fluff from her dress. "Won't be seeing him for a while, I hope."

"What planet you from today Tine?" Tarot grinned and crossed her arms, leaning against the frame like a gangster hanging at the end of the street. "Show's in two days, remember?"

"Crap! Totally forgot." Nicole bit her lip then winced at a funny pain in her stomach. "Okay, ow, that hurt like hell, in pain, wouldn't mind a bit of help over here."

Nicole fell to the floor, doubled over in agony and clutching her stomach. Tarot dashed over and helped Satine onto her bed, before running off, with a call behind her to keep still, she was going to fetch the doctor.

"I'll just sit here then."

~~

"Please tell me your joking."

"I am definitely not, Miss Satine."

"Um…thanks."

"Au revoir, Miss Satine."

"Crap, crap, crappity crap!" Nicole bounced on her bed and shook her head hard, willing for the previous hour of doctor prodding to be erased from her mind for good.

"Darling? What's wrong? I saw the Doctor and Tarot told me that he'd come to see you." Christian crossed the room in three worried strides and enveloped Nicole into a rib-crunching hug, which was received with a loud yelp. "Sorry, sweetheart, I'm just so worried, what's wrong? I couldn't bear to lose you."

Nicole smiled weakly as a small teardrop coursed down her cheek.

"Christian…I'm pregnant."

"W-what, what, I mean what?"

"For the world's best poet, you sure have a limited vocabulary."

"I'm just, sure?"

"Positive, I argued with the doctor for twenty minutes over it."

"I'm g-gonna be a…a dad?"

"Yes, my darling."

Christian whooped and, after several frantic kisses, ran to tell Toulouse, even though it was meant to be a big, big secret from everyone.

Especially the Duke.


	9. NOT AGAIN

Chapter 8 – NOT AGAIN 

~~ Satine ~~

Everyone seemed to be wary of Satine now. If talking, they took a step away, and if near her, they would have a sudden urge to have a dance or to get a drink. Satine didn't care anyway; she was having a whale of a time with Ewan, who cared?

A small blonde woman dashed up, a clipboard in her hand and what looked like two giant black sausages twisted into circles stuck to her ears.

"Miss Kidman, you're needed back on stage with Mr McGregor for the interviews. Please follow me." The assistant turned sharply on her heels and Satine yanked Ewan along, causing him to spill his drink down Halle Berry's dress, who he was trying to get a film to be in her with, I mean in with her. With an apologetic shout across the room, Ewan closed the door behind him and the room was immediately buzzing with the latest gossip.

"Who was that?" Satine tried to sound offchance.

"Halle Berry, actress. Very pretty." Seeing Halle seemed to have destroyed Ewan's grammar.

"Ewan! Pay attention, stop drooling over that Balle Herry girl, we have work to do!"

"Halle Berry" Ewan tried to interrupt, his mind still wandering. He didn't have long though, as the pair was again thrust through the doors and out onto the stage.

"Now, I hope you all enjoyed the film!" Satine was a natural in front of the camera, but Ewan could see close up that her palms were sweaty. "Now, it's time for the interviews!" The crowd cheered and Satine practically ran over to her seat, which she threw herself into.

"Now" a brunette woman sitting opposite Satine and Ewan smiled brightly, "this is when we can get all the latest gossip from Ewan and Nicole! First question" the woman leaned forward, her eyes glinting in the harsh lights, "Was it true that Ewan here broke your rib, twice?"

The crowd giggled and Satine shot Ewan a worried look. This wasn't in the list they'd been given!

"Um…not at all!" Satine lied smoothly, fixing on her bright and bubbly smile. "I'd just had too many rehearsals with people throwing me about, and the pressure just made it break! It wasn't serious, just a hairline they called it."

Ewan's jaw dropped so low a train could have run through it. Liar!

"So, Ewan, what do you really think of Nicole?" the interviewer winked at a stony-faced Ewan.

"I think S-Nic is the most down-to-earth, nicest person you could possibly meet, and aren't these questions supposed to be about the film?"

The brunette woman shuffled uncomfortably in her seat, before firing off another round of probing questions, including ones about the divorce [the audience then booed loudly], a secret affair [the audience cheered and wolfwhistled] and even about Ewan's new daughter [the audience awed]. After a few stilted answers, the interview was thankfully over, and it was time for another break. Escaping to their private dressing rooms to change, Ewan fumed about the interrogating questions.

"Live on air too! I thought it was supposed to be about the film, not about our personal lives!"

"Sshh, Ewan, it's okay, really, we'll just accept the awards and go home, promise."

Ewan grinned. "At the start it was me trying to calm you down, but now it's the other way round! What has happened?"

"Nothing, goose, I just like it here, its nicer than home anyway. Home…I miss my darling Christian terribly, and that poor Nicole, just stranded in my place!"

Ewan thought about Nicole, and he couldn't help but grin. She'd have to take a year out after this little escapade! 

"I wonder what's happening back there."

A knock on the door invaded their private thoughts. "Your due back on stage now please"

After another frantic good-luck hug the pair walked back through the doors, Ewan now dressed in Christian's famous white shirt and blue jumper over his shoulders, and Satine in her [corsetted!] Spanish outfit. The lights seemed brighter and ever, and as Ewan introduced the awards ceremony, a strange fizzy sensation prickled all over Satine's skin. She shrieked loud enough to stop the whole show.

"Ewan! It's back! I don't want to go!" Whirling around, Satine kissed the amazed Scot squarely on the lips before just…fading away. The crowd went wild, thinking it to be some fantastic stage trick, when Ewan felt *his* skin go all funny, and he too faded away, leaving a dumbstruck crowd screaming for more.


	10. A Narrow Escape

Chapter 10 – A Narrow Escape 

~~ Nicole ~~

"Christian I'm booored" Nicole whinged as she lay on the poet's bed, the tapping of the typewriter driving her insane. If he didn't stop for a break soon, she was afraid that she was going to have a nasty "accident" with the blasted machine.

"Hush, sweet, you need to have your rest, the show is tonight and I need to finish this scene!" Christian made the chair squeak as he pushed it back, and he popped a light kiss on Nicole's forehead.

"I know that, but, this is just so irritating! I want Ewan here, he's such a giggle."

"Who?" Christian sharply pulled his head out from behind the gap where the kitchen door had once been, but was now in one of Toulouse's new "masterpieces".

"I said I want…you…of course." Nicole gave a little false giggle and pretended to swoon. "What will I do if I don't have my gorgeous poet around to save the day and rid me of this terrible boredom?"

Shaking his head, Christian slowly walked in, carefully balancing several dishes of food and two glasses of wine. Placing it down on the bed, he handed Nicole a goblet before picking up his own.

"To the both of us, well, the three of us" Christian beamed and sipped his wine, then choked at the strong flavour. Nicole whacked him on the back and he gave a muffled squeak of thanks.

"Quick, get your backside out of here now!" Nicole jumped as a frightened voice made her jump, spilling her wine down her kimono. She whimpered; it was the only outfit she wore without a corset, and now it was ruined. This was just the icing on the cake.

"Sat-ine! Get your arse out of this room NOW! The Duke is on his way!" The normally sweet tones of Baby Doll appeared from the hole in the ceiling, her lipstick smudged halfway across her face.

"What? Why? What?"

"Three very good questions, but get out! Move it! Get up here!" Baby Doll disappeared and there were several crashing noises from upstairs. Throwing Christian a confused look, Nicole scrambled up the stairs, trying hard to remember if this was part of the film. It wasn't, and as she crouched behind a tattered easel, she realised that because she hadn't done the whole 'Roxanne' scene, everything would be new and different.

"Oh, bloody hell." She muttered, but shut up sharply when she heard the Duke slide in.

"Where is Satine?" the Duke's yuckily nasal voice made Nicole want to pick up her skirts and punch him in the face. Hard.

"I don't know, isn't she at the Moulin?" Christian sounded perfectly normal; albeit irritated that he had been rudely interrupted.

"Stop playing with me boy, just tell me where she is. She's here, those _girls,_" Nicole felt her heckles rise when he muttered the word girls with utter disdain, "told me she was here. So, I've come to collect her."

Collect her? Was she some sort of package?

"Like I said before, Duke, Satine is not here." Now Christian's teeth were gritted tightly.

"Then why," the Duke began to move about, his voice getting fainter as he moved further away from the hole, "are there two glasses of wine here? Someone must have been in a hurry to get away, they spilt it all over the bed."

"Christian?" Nicole jumped out of her skin and shoved the end of a multicoloured scarf into her mouth to stop from shrieking.

"Christian? Can I come down now?" the voice was louder this time, and Nicole almost burst with relief when she saw Baby Doll climb down the ladder, an inquisitive look on her face.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were here." Baby Doll purred and Nicole felt her stomach flip-flop at the thought of the Duke with any of the Diamond Dogs, even with bratty Nini.

"Err, yes, I was just inquiring on the play." The Duke sounded slightly shocked.

"My little poet, isn't he marvellous? Oh no, look at that wine! I'm sorry darling, I thought it was Harold, and I must have spilt it." Nicole now lay on the floor shaking with laughter.

"That's alright sweetie, we'll clear it up later." Christian sounded even more shock then the Duke.

"I-I'll leave you to it, make sure you're at the Moulin Rouge by five." With that, the Duke's footsteps scurried out of the door and Nicole watched him as his huddled form raced back to the carriage, before it sped off in a cloud of dust.

"My God, I think that was the funniest thing I've ever heard!" Nicole ventured down the steps and saw Christian sitting at his chair, jaw almost hitting the floor and Baby Doll giggling on the bed, nibbling at the sandwiches Christian had prepared.

"I-I just, what did just happen?" Christian's eyes were glazed over. Baby Doll grinned.

"Hey Anna, want to stay for some nibbles?" Nicole inquired, then furrowed her brow as she wondered how she knew Baby Doll's real name.

"Nah, thanks, I've got a few um, visits to make." Baby Doll winked and pocketed two sandwiches. "I'll just let you get back to your…business."

Nicole blushed fiercely as Anna clambered up the ladder and threw the rug back in place. She turned back to Christian.

"So…where were we again?"

-------------------------------------------

Only a short chapter I know, but my muse is being dreadful!  
**WANTED: ONE GOOD HARDWORKING MUSE**


	11. The Land of Bazdom

Chapter 11 – The Land of Bazdom

Dedicated to Sandpiper! *hehe*

~~ Satine ~~

"Where are we?" Satine raised a hand to her head and gingerly felt the large lump that was going to be –so- unattractive in a few hours. Well, at least if anyone asked she could say it was that Penelope bitch.

"Tine?"

Satine looked around hurriedly and scrambled over to where Ewan lay, muttering something about someone called George Lucas having a field day with what was happening. 

"Yeah?"

For the first time in his life, Ewan McGregor was stuck for something to say. It reminded him of a film he'd seen with Clara recently, when this bloke lying on the ground and this heavenly red haired creature just...staring at him. In the early light of dawn, Satine looked beautiful. Yet, something wasn't right there at all.

"Tine, when we were at the show, what time was it?" Ewan pushed himself up and gazed at the scenery. They seemed to be in some sort of garden, with plush green grass and trees.

"Um, it was about 10 in the evening, about half ten I think."

"Then why is it now dawn?"

Oh dear. Ewan's brow furrowed then sprang up in surprise when he realised that he recognised something. The big house at the end of the garden.

"Christ, we're in Australia!"

"Eh?" Satine was confused to say the least.

"We're in Baz's fucking, sorry, Baz's garden!"

"Whose?" Satine's head was starting to spin.

"Baz's! You know, the bloke who made your film!"

"How snazzy!" 

Ewan gave Satine an oh-my-god-what-the-hell-did-you-just-say? look.

"Sorry, picked it up at the party from someone. She looked like la Fée Verte but bigger…her name was Kylie M-thingamabob I think. So, come on then, I want to meet this Baz person. I have to thank him."

Ewan dusted himself off and helped Satine to her feet. He had no idea why they'd been transported to Baz, but the funny voice in the back of his head told him that if Baz was involved, it was bound to be good.

Trudging up towards the house, Satine barely had time to drink in the relaxing surroundings before a door at the house flew open and Baz Lurhmann rushed out, his hair stuck up and a beaming grin across his face.

"Ewan! What the hell happened?" he yelled, closing the gap between them and enveloping Ewan into a bear hug, while Satine looked on bemusedly. So this was the man who'd made her famous.

"Nic! How are you? How are you here? The papers have been crazy!" Baz turned his attentions onto Satine, and immediately his eyebrows knotted together.

"Nic? What's up?"

Satine's eyes almost bulged out of her head. Baz knew it wasn't Nicole!

"Um, Baz, you might not ever believe this, but that isn't Nicole. It's Satine. As in the courtesan. From 1899." Ewan babbled, wondering how Baz would take the rather, well, crazy news.

"Satine?" Satine flinched slightly as Baz pronounced her name like Satin. "Honestly, is that really Satine?"

"Well, um, yeah." Satine was shy, a thing which she'd never seen herself be.

"Amazing! You know, this could be an amazing film….come inside, come inside, we have to talk!" 

Ewan could barely contain his grin as Baz turned on his heel and flew back into the house, babbling on about film plots and ideas. Grabbing Satine's arm, he gave her a quick peck on the cheek before dragging her into the house.

Neither of them saw the camera bulb flash in the bushes.


	12. On With the Show!

Chapter 12 – On With the Show!

~~ Nicole ~~

Nicole hated morning sickness. She also hated afternoon, evening and night sickness for that matter. Since being told about her pregnancy, everything had gone down, except for her food. The Duke was becoming suspicious because she was forced to stay at home for days on end, she couldn't perform because her outfits were so tight and Nini was delighting in being Head Bitch. The only good thing was that the show was opening tonight, and that Christian was being an absolute doll. He fetched her whatever she craved, whatever the time night and day, and he was a complete source of comfort and love.

"Satine, sweetheart, it's time for you to get ready." Christian's low soothing voice broke into Nicole's heavily fogged thoughts and she smiled daintily as he helped her to her feet. Popping a kiss onto his nose, Nicole giggled and shooed Christian away as he knelt down and pressed his eye into Nicole's bellybutton, almost as if he could see his baby inside.

"What are you doing, dopey thing?" Nicole ruffled Christian's hair as he kissed a delicate ring around her slightly swelling stomach. A deeply wistful sigh escaped her lips, how could she give up Christian and his baby if she was taken back to 2002?

"Anything wrong, my dear?" The Duke strode in, not knocking and completely unannounced. Christian immediately pretended to look for something on the completely clear floor while Nicole hastily pulled her kimono [which had thankfully been washed without leaving a stain] around her body, winding it tightly.

"Yes!" Everyone winced as Nicole squeaked so loudly, she was surprised that a dog didn't bark back. Clearing her throat, she continued in a purr that made Christian blush red and her own heart ashamed. "Of course, Christian here was helping me look for something."

"What was it, my sweet?" The Duke tried to sound interested, but it was obvious that he just wanted to try and trick the pair. Christian immediately stuffed his hand underneath the bed and rummaged around for something, anything.

"Oh, nothing, just an earri-"

"Necklace!" Christian shouted as he pulled out a diamond choker. What –had- that been doing there?

"Necklace that I'd dropped!"

"Oh." The Duke was completely miffed.

"Now, why don't you go and get a good seat at the front? I want you to see…everything…" Nicole inwardly grimaced. The Duke beamed.

"Of course, my sweet! I am sure that you'll be the star, as usual."

Nicole smiled coyly and ushered the Duke outside and almost slammed the door in his face. Turning back, she saw Christian try to hide his hurting expression with a bright smile. Nicole gazed pityingly, but knew she had to learn to keep her high wire emotions at bay.

"Come on, baby, let me get dressed hey?" her voice was soft and soothing.

"Alright, but, you know that I love you, right?" 

Oh God. What could she say? If she uttered those magical binding words, she'd never be able to let go. But, how could she hurt him by not saying them? Nicole glided over to where Christian knelt on the floor and kissed his forehead.

"I love you too, sweetie. Now, can I get dressed?"

"Can't I stay?"

"Christian!" Nicole giggled. "Out, you rude monkey!"

Laughing, Christian kissed Nicole deeply one last time, whispered good luck into her ear and left the actress cum love struck courtesan to slowly get dressed for the opening night of Spectacular Spectacular. 

~~ ~~

Well, so far, so good. Nicole had got past the whole Christian/Argentinean disaster from the film without it actually happening, she could remember her lines and the dark light made the entire audience, including the Duke, completely invisible. The production was almost over, and with practically no mistakes. The only thing that bothered Nicole was the fact that whenever she kissed the Argentinean, the baby kicked. Hard. It was almost as if he/she didn't want his or her mummy playing with anyone else.

The changing rooms were buzzing. It was time for the final act, when the Penniless Sitar Player [aka Christian] saved the Hindi Courtesan [aka Nicole, well, Satine] from the Evil Maharajah [aka the Duke] and they escaped from the church on a giant white horse. Nicole just hoped that everything with the horse would go smoothly, especially the whole "riding" it sequences.

"Everyone back on stage, curtain's up in 2!" Marie bustled about, picking up skirts and trying hopelessly to clear up the pandemonium of backstage.

"Come on Diamond, how can the show go on without you?" Nini's voice broke through the madness, followed shortly by her exuberant headdress and outfit.

"Alright! Alright! And I though Baz was a nightmare for tight schedules." Nicole muttered, brushing past Nini and up onto the platform in front of the doors. The infectious Indian beat sauntered through the thin wooden walls and Nicole bopped her head to the rhythm. It felt good to finally end this show; it was sort of closure on the whole good film-evil divorce year.

"My dear!"

Nicole almost jumped out of her skin. What was that frog stomping over excited rat-lookalike of a Duke doing back here? Right now?! Nicole tried to remain calm, but her redheadedness was boiling her blood.

"Dear duke, the show has resumed! I have to be on stage! As in now!"

"Yes, yes, the show." The Duke waved his hand impatiently. "What is more important than what I have to announce to you!" he stopped.

"Which is...?" Nicole prodded, biting her tongue to stop her adding anything that might end up with Warner and a gun.

"Zidler is tonight going to announce our marriage!" a shiny droplet of spit sailed from the corner of the Duke's beaming mouth and landed on Nicole's dress. It danced on the edge of a bead before gravity let rip, and so did Nicole's anger.

"WHAT?! I'm sorry, but I'd rather go back to Tom than marry you!"

"Who? Who is this Tom? Warner! WARNER!" the Duke began enraged at once and Nicole mentally cursed herself for forgetting about his infamous temper.

Whipping her head around to see if anyone could rescue her, Nicole froze when Warner's shiny bald egghead appeared from the side stage. She bit her lip and backed slowly away, one step....two step...

...and right into the wooden doors, which flew open, causing Nicole to go arse-over-head into the blinding madness of the final act.

Everything stopped.

"Oh crap" Nicole muttered, picking herself up off the floor and daintily wiping down her dress as the entire cast and audience watched with their jaws practically hitting the floor. Deciding to take over, Nicole walked to the centre of the stage and held her hand to her head, simpering love-struck fool style.

"I cannot do it! I simply cannot go through with getting married to him!"

"What are you _doing?_" Zidler hissed from under his turban, yet all Nicole did was to swoon even further, almost falling to the floor.

"I tell you now, I simply cannot marry that Maharajah! His heart is cold and so are his hands for that matter."

From the wings, Christian's eyes bulged almost out of their sockets, while the Duke stood there, fuming madly. On stage, Nini choked back a giggle while Zidler's face looked like it was going to explode under his turban.

"Oh how I long to live with my very own penniless po-sitar player!" Oops, almost a slip-up there. The entire was rapt, while the entire cast was agog. Nicole was in her element. She was wondering on what to sing, and suddenly her eyes lit up as she remembered a few songs from the Buffy musical.

"Every single night, the same arrangement, I go out and fight the fight. Still I always feel the strange estrangement, nothing here is real, nothing here is right! I've been making shows of trading blows, just hoping no-one knows that I've been going through the motions, walking through the part, nothing seems to penetrate my heart!"

She pranced around the stage; shimmying and partying while the audience fell about with laughter. The song was not a perfect fit, but it was better than nothing. Turning to look at the side of the stage, Nicole winked discreetly at Christian before belting out another number.

"You won't admit you love me, and so how am I ever to know? You always tell me perhaps, perhaps, perhaps! A million times I've asked you, and then I ask you over, again you only answer perhaps, perhaps, perhaps! If you cant' make your mind up we'll never get started! And I don't wanna wind up, being parted, broken hearted! So if you really love me, say yes, but if you don't dear, confess, and please don't tell me perhaps, perhaps, perhaps!"

Now Nicole was in a –high- funny yet also highly dangerous mood. She pranced about like a madwoman, Zidler holding his head in his hands and Christian watching dumbstruck. The Duke had seen Nicole's not-so discreet wink, and in his hands he held a shiny revolver. Nicole swallowed once, twice and then hitched up her skirts as the Duke stepped on stage. 

"Christian! RUN!"

Pandemonium was not the word, nor was it even close. Girls ran around screaming; the audience fell off their seats laughing while Harold cried into his hat. Grabbing his hand, Nicole planted a kiss on Christian's lips in full view of the Duke, who bellowed like a fat bullfrog. Running amongst the havoc, Nicole felt a funny tingle run across her skin. She stopped, shivered, and then her entire form wavered as if she was a radio signal that went slightly off. She hiccuped and gasped.

"No! I demand you take me back another time! In a year or never! Don't you take me back!"

The entire audience stopped as Nicole waved her fist giddily at the ceiling. Throwing one last look at Christian, Nicole's eyebrow shot up when she was Christian waver too. It looked like he was coming with her too! Grabbing his hand, she turned to face the Duke a dizzy grin on her lips.

"Nya! Nya!"

Then, the pair simply vanished.


	13. Unannounced Arrivals

Chapter 13 – Unannounced Arrivals

~~ ~~

Satine was relaxing in a pair of CM's jeans and Baz's shirts while busily eating her third helping of strawberry ice cream. Ewan, who had also changed, was reading the papers aloud, groaning every now and again and muttering to himself.

"Tine, you will not believe what they've been writing!"

"Don't tell me, Ewan and Nicole are having an affair and there have been several eye-witness reports of canoodling and secret hotel rooms."

Ewan shot her a look in reply.

Giggling, Satine dug back into her ice cream. Once she had finished, she turned to face Ewan, and hiccuped loudly. Ewan ran over to her side immediately.

"Tine, you're not going are you?" He gave her a thorough look. Satine blushed.

"Naw, don't think so anyway. I think I just ate too much ice cream." Satine grinned. "Why, would you miss me?"

Now it was Ewan's turn to blush.

"Well, yeah, you're my mate, aren't you? You're a giggle like Nicole, and it's weird, but you're, well, special." Ewan kissed her on the forehead lightly. "I wonder how Nic's going, anyway."

And, as if on cue, Nicole and Christian fell in a dazed heap on the living room floor.

Satine took one look and threw up.

Ewan's eyes rolled back and he fainted.

Christian gasped like a dying fish.

Nicole shrieked with pain and happiness.

And Baz walked into the room, 

surveyed the mess 

and walked back out again.


	14. The Skeleton Cupboard Gets an Airing!

Chapter 14 – The Skeleton Cupboard Gets an Airing! 

~~ ~~

It took Nicole a few seconds to get to grips with what just happened. Ewan lay in a messy heap on the floor next to what looked like strawberry milkshake; Christian looked completely terrified, while Nicole's mirror image stared with eyes a large and a blue as Olympic swimming pools.

"Are you?" Nicole started, but found that the words just simply, well, weren't coming out. 

"Are you really?" Satine echoed, grinning bashfully as she carefully stepped towards Nicole, over both the mess and Ewan. She hadn't even noticed Christian, as she was completely amazed at what she saw.

It was herself! Well, more like her old-fashioned version of herself. Nicole's hair was tightly teased into a long trailing cascade of fiery red curls fixed with gems and an extravagant head-dress completing the Hindi look. Her make-up was dark and exotic, eyes outlined heavily in black kohl, and her lips practically glowering with red-hot shades. She wore the infamous cream and gold Hindi Wedding Dress, which made her slim figure even smaller, if that was even possible. 

Nicole stared back, just as, or maybe even more amazed than Satine was. Gone was the whole 'Smouldering Temptress' look a la Moulin Rouge, and in was a modern chic look. Satine's hair was still long, yet it was a straight, sleek and yummy strawberry blonde shade that Nicole hadn't even tried. Her face was void of makeup; save for a light slick of lip-gloss and minimal mascara, which made Satine's voluminous eyes seem even bigger. The bit which made Nicole stare were Satine's clothes, casual jeans and a top that made Nicole feel like she'd stepped in a time warp. Which, well, she had.

"Nicole? Is that you?" Ewan had started to come around, holding his head and sporting an amazing purple bruise already.

"I'm back!" Nicole started to pick herself up gently, easing her aching muscle into a standing position. "So, Satine, god it sounds weird calling you that, how is everything?" Nicole's nervousness had switched to babbling-overdrive.

"Satine?" Christian's questioning voice popped up from Nicole's side, yet it was Satine who answered.

"Darling!"

As she advanced, Christian backed away, completely terrified.

"Get away from us!"

"Huh?" Satine looked crushed, and then Ewan's eyebrows shot up the same time as Satine's as they realised something.

__

"You didn't tell him?!" The pair yelled. Nicole blushed a deep crimson, helping Christian to his feet.

"Well, not exactly, it was a difficult situation!"

"Tell who what?" Christian held an arm protectively around Nicole's stomach looking perplexed and confused.

"You tell him!" Satine spat, completely miffed that Christian didn't even recognise her, though a small part of her liked the same fact.

"I-I can't! Won't you?" Nicole looked pleadingly at Ewan, who rolled his eyes in reply.

"Fine! Hey, Chris, follow me mate, I've got quite a bit of explaining to do." Grabbing Christian's arm, Ewan hauled the shy poet into another room, leaving Nicole looking crestfallen and Satine annoyed as hell.

The atmosphere became decidedly icy.

~~ ~~

"So, you see, that isn't Satine, really. Nicole played Satine in a film, but she isn't the real thing. Sorry, mate." 

Ewan sighed and sat back in the comfortable leather recliner, watching Christian's face intently. It flickered between horror, anger, pity and sadness. Ewan wasn't exactly sure what the sadness was about though.

"So, that isn't my Satine? It's your Nicole?"

"Well" Ewan blushed. "Not exactly –my- Nicole, but she isn't Satine. The person who is your Satine looks like my, I mean, Nicole. It's confusing, but when you get back to…wherever…it'll all be sorted, I promise."

"But what about the-" Christian started to speak, but then shut right up. 

"What?"

"The…I can't say, it's shameful, Satine will never forgive me."

"You didn't!" Ewan's multicoloured brain had just sent him a colour photograph of an idea, and it wasn't pretty. "She's not, is she?"

Christian nodded mournfully.

"Oh, Christ. What the bloody hell will Tom say about that when he reads it in the papers?" Ewan held his head in his hands, while Christian wrung his tightly in his lap. 

"Even worse, what about when you tell Satine?" At the mere thought, Christian turned a pale shade of green. Ewan sighed, rolling his eyes and rubbing his neck. Why was he always the dogsbody?

"Fine fine, I'll tell the bloody madam, but if she kills me you have to explain it to the wife." 

~~ ~~

Ewan stepped back into the room, which felt like a freezer with Christian hanging shyly behind him. The mess on the floor was gone, and Nicole flicked through a magazine while Satine filed her nails, shooting daggers to Nicole's back the entire time. 

"Ladies" Ewan coughed, and immediately wished he hadn't as two pairs of furious identical eyes glared down at him. "Chris and I have had a talk, and some explaining needs to be done, and it's not going to be pretty. If we could all take a seat in the rehearsal room, where it is more comfortable." _Plus there aren't any valuables or pointy objects._

Everyone trailed into the sparsely decorated room, which was full of rehearsal memories. Nicole smiled faintly and curled a loose ribbon of red hair around her finger, before taking a seat furthest away from the moody courtesan. Satine sat on the opposite end of the room, while Christian and Ewan sat in the middle.

"Okay, before we begin, I have some ground rules." Ewan felt like an army general about to enter World War 3. "We let each person finish what they're saying, and the tears, tantrums and all that are to be kept for later. Remember this has been a very unusual time for everyone, so please relax. Christian, you first." Ewan poked the terrified poet into the centre of the room.

"Well, um, you see, I didn't, well, nobody told me, what I'm trying to say is that, um, Nicole is, well, pregnant."

Satine let out a yell that was so high pitched the dogs in the nearby field started barking. Everyone else clamped their hands over their ears while Satine screeched and wailed and began flinging chairs about. Ewan sensed danger and ran over to her side.

"Come on Tine, relax darling, come on, calm down sweetie."

"How can I calm down?" Satine turned to face Ewan; her eyes wide and pooled with tears. "He slept with her! My one true love has cheated on me and they're having a baby!"

"But remember sweet, he didn't know. Christian didn't know." Ewan repeated the last phrase to reinforce it, and soon Satine's heaving breaths slowed down to a muffled sob against Ewan's shoulder. Nicole flinched as she caught Ewan's look from the mirror. Ouch.

"I…I'm so sorry" Nicole began, but was immediately cut off by Satine's hand slapping her sharply across the face.

"What have you done?" Satine was beside herself with anguish, while all Nicole could do was to let the tears flow down her cheeks. Christian stood next to her and gently brushed his fingers down her trembling arm, while Ewan stood behind Satine, his arms wrapped around her body. Both women began to sob, until a large squeak rose from the door.

"What the hell's going on here?"

Nicole raised her eyes and shrieked.

"Tom!"

~~ ~~

A/N: Fizzy Air will shortly be coming to a close, I'm afraid! Please R&R, and I'll try to get this new chapter out soon *lol*


	15. The Truth Is Outand it ain't pretty

Chapter 15 – The Truth is Out [and it ain't pretty]

A/N: Don't yell, just a bit more Tom bashing *lol*. I like the guy, I really do, but just for this fic, I don't! Please don't flame me or tell on me for this fic – I'm just having fun! Remember, it's –pretend-

~~ ~~ 

"I repeat my first though. What the hell is going on here?" Tom Cruise entered the room, followed by a young boy carrying a camera around his neck. The scene looked ridiculous, two hysterical Nicole Kidmans and two exasperated Ewan McGregors both standing on opposite sides of the room.

"What are you doing here?" Nicole sniffed, her eyes bloodshot and her chest tight from all the crying.

"I could ask you the same thing." Tom replied. "It's all over the papers that you're having an affair with Ewan, and I wanted to see how you were after the show…" Tom's voice trailed off and he blushed a deep red as Satine and Ewan remembered the show's party.

"Ah, see, that wasn't Nicole." Ewan began, but was cut off by a bright flash in his face. The young cameraman was in his element, snapping the doubles and making 'oh my god' noises under his breath.

"Will you quit that! Why is he here anyway?" Ewan muttered, shielding Satine from the camera. Nicole did the same with Christian.

"I hired him to watch Nic, as I wasn't sure what was going on."

"So, let me get this straight." Nicole started, stepping purposefully closer to Tom in her giant spiked heels. "Even after we're divorced, you spy on me?" Her voice was dangerously quiet.

"I was worried about you!"

"You were spying on me again!"

"Hey hey, time out people!" Ewan intervened for what felt like the thousandth time that day. "Just, calm down, and everything will get sorted out."

"So, the truth is coming out, right?" Baz stood in the doorway, arms folded with a wry grin on his face. Nicole and Ewan felt a rush of love for the, quite frankly, insane director.

"What truth?" Christian spoke up for the first time, and all eyes turned to him. "I, I mean, what is going on now?"

Satine hurried over to Christian's side and grasped his hand, grateful for the only person who understood her time and her stress. She whispered into his ear all that had gone on over the past few days, which left Ewan, Nicole, Tom, Baz and the cameraman in a semi-circle around the door.

"I'll say it again, the truth is about to come out, right Tom?" Baz grinned and went over to capture Nicole into a big hug. The cameraman began to take more pictures, but was cut off by Ewan yanking the camera out of his hands and throwing it out of the window.

"Will you please, for the love of all things Scottish piss off? This is private stuff." Without any noise, the cameraman scurried off with a terrified look on his face, while Nicole giggled.

"God, Ewan, it feels so good to see you again!" Breaking off from Baz, Nicole reached out to Ewan and hugged him tight, while Tom looked on.

"What truth? Sorry Nic, but I've got to know why all this madness is happening!" Ewan turned to Baz, who just grinned wider than ever. His eyes looked to Tom, then back at Nicole, then back to Tom.

"Something to do with Nicole, right?" Ewan guessed.

"Give the boy a gold star, he got it in one." Baz laughed, clapping his hands and stepping into the room. "I have only one word to say-"

"That's got to be a first"

"Thank you, Ewan, as I was saying, the one word is this. Magic."

"Magic? How do you know it was magic, Baz?" Nicole raised one perfect eyebrow high in the air.

"Because I know all about it. How else do you think I make such magic films?" Ewan laughed in response.

"It was a love spell" Baz continued, walking closer and closer to Tom, who looked increasingly worried. "An unusual spell, which, if I'm correct, would make the, _chosen girl_, shall we say, fall desperately in love with her soulmate. Unfortunately for you, Tom, Nic isn't yours."

"What?!" Nicole shrieked, and Tom shook.

"I didn't! I didn't!"

"You sent me back to 1899 because you were LONELY?!" Nicole tried to grab his neck and pick him off the floor, but Ewan held her back, along with Satine and Christian as they tried to make sense of it all.

"I'm her soulmate?"  
"You're **my** soulmate!"  
"I'm her real soulmate or character soulmate?"

"But, I can reverse it." Baz nodded, and without a word he produced a bottle of champagne from next to the CD player. "All we need to do is to…improvise."

"Huh?" All four muttered, as Tom whisked out of the room.

"You have to re-enact your scenes! Satine, what were you doing when you switched places with Nicole?"

"I was, uh, ahem, kissing Christian." Satine blushed daintily.

"And yourself, Nicole?"

"I was getting drunk with Ewan."

"So, Satine was kissing Christian, and Nicole was drinking with Ewan. Miss Satine, could you and Ewan please get yourselves tipsy, and could Mr Christian please start kissing Nicole." He said this all so matter-of-factly that the actress, the poet, the courtesan and the actor all fell into hysterical laughter.

"I'm quite serious, you know. That's the only way to reverse it."

"But, the baby!" Nicole blurted out. "I want to keep it."

"So do I" added Christian.

"I'm afraid I don't know what will happen, Nicole. Please say your goodbyes, and then get ready."

"Sounds like a bloody space adventure like Armageddon to me" muttered Ewan as he pulled Satine over to the soft red settee with the bottle in his hands. "Come on, Tine. Let's get you home."

Nicole led Christian over to the pillar, where she kissed him fiercely. She didn't want to lose Christian, as she'd now found her soulmate and she was also having his baby. Christian knelt on the floor and began to talk to her stomach and Nicole felt tears in her eyes. God, she'd miss him.

"I don't wanna go."

"Tine! What about Christian?"

"Well of course I love him" Satine giggled, the champagne fizzing through her veins. "It's just that I like it here. It's modern. Plus, there are no yucky Dukes around."

"Come on, you know you prefer it back where things make sense." Ewan laughed.

"Well, of course, but it's just…I'm gonna miss you."

Ewan blinked, and then pulled Satine into a fierce hug, knocking the wine glasses to the floor. Tears were being shed, yet suddenly both Nicole and Satine hiccuped.

"Oh god, oh god." Ewan kissed Satine sweetly and Christian managed one heart-wrenching kiss as they felt their skin tingle, and everyone fell to the floor in a dead faint.


	16. Nine Months On Epilogue

Chapter 16 – Nine Months On [Epilogue]

~~ Nicole ~~

****

The KMCCH National Newspaper

__

Kidman refuses to name baby's father.

In a shocking announcement yesterday, superstar Nicole Kidman (34) has refused to name her first child's father, leading to speculation that Moulin Rouge co-star Ewan McGregor (pictured far left) is the unknown man. 

Kidman gave birth to Hannah Faith Satine in the early hours of yesterday morning. She arrived at the hospital, and was quickly followed by director Baz Lurhmann and McGregor soon afterwards. The baby girl's middle name is the same as her characters in Moulin Rouge, which asks even more questions.

Rumours of an affair were raised around the same time that Kidman announced her pregnancy, with several unusual events, such as the KMCCH stage trick (which still has not been revealed) and reports of secret hotel rooms.

Tom Cruise, who recently split up with actress Penelope Cruz because he kept spying on Nicole, has been questioned, though he will not give a legitimate answer. Or one that makes any sense.

Both Kidman and McGregor have refused to comment, while Lurhmann just said "Magic."

~~ Satine ~~

****

The Daily Bohemian

__

Sparkling Diamond gives birth to Little Gem!

After nine months, the happy day has arrived! The Sparkling Diamond Satine has given birth to a beautiful baby boy, proudly named Joshua Ewan James. He was delivered with no problems, and both the mother, son and father are doing very well. We send them all our love, from the people of Montrmarte! In other news, the Duke of Monroth has finally married Nini Legs-in-the-Air, after months of speculation about their relationship. In a small wedding in Paris, the Duke thanked Satine (above, in her infamous Black Diamonds costume) for introducing them, and Nini had the following to say. 

"Cheers, sweet'eart! I got the cash now, whose a better diamond?" 

Congratulations to them both! 

~~ ~~


End file.
